Sex and cancer treatment

If you’re having penetrative sex and you or your partner is having chemo, always use a barrier style of contraception - like a condom. This is even for oral sex and even if you’re using other contraception. That’s because it’s possible to pass on chemicals from chemo drugs during sex.

So, keep protection handy – and use it for at least a couple of weeks after you’ve finished treatment. It’s important to not become pregnant while you’re having chemo. 

You can find out more about different types of contraception on the Brook website. 

This is common and can happen for lots of reasons, including hormonal changes, tiredness, anxiety and just not feeling great about yourself. You might find your confidence takes a hit and you feel less comfortable being physically intimate with people.

Losing interest in sex can be a side effect of radiotherapy and certain drugs too. Often once your treatment is over you’ll probably start to feel like having sex again. But if you’re still not as interested in sex a while after you’ve finished treatment, it can be helpful to talk to a psychologist or counsellor.

Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and any worries you might have. Let them know what you’re going through. Listen to what they’re thinking about too, as they might also be worried.  

If your treatment has had an impact on your hormones you might be referred to an endocrinologist, they specialise in glands and hormones and can offer advice. You might be feeling pretty unsexy but that doesn’t mean your partner has stopped finding you attractive. And remember there’s plenty you can do to enjoy each other’s company without having sex. 

Cancer and cancer treatment can cause various changes to your body that might affect your sex life. You might find it hard to get hard (get an erection).  

Getting an erection can be difficult if:  

• Cancer, or cancer treatment, has damaged nerves and blood vessels in your pelvis  
• You’ve had surgery to your prostate, bowel, testicles, bladder or rectum 
• You’ve got low levels of the hormone testosterone. Testosterone can be reduced by radiotherapy or surgery to your testicles, or by treatment to the pituitary gland in your brain  
• You’re stressed and/or tired.  

If this happens to you, don’t be embarrassed to talk about it. To your doctors and nurses it’s just another medical conversation, and one they’ve had plenty of times before – and you can ask to speak to a man if you’d prefer. They’ll be able to help you understand things and have suggestions of things that might help.  

You might find it hurts to come. This can happen if part of your penis, called the urethra, gets inflamed during radiotherapy. This usually stops happening a few weeks after treatment. In the meantime, you might want to avoid having sex. 

You might not come when you have an orgasm  

This is called a dry orgasm. Some surgery for testicular or prostate cancer might cause this. Some people say that it doesn’t change the way an orgasm feels; others think it can make things feel a bit less intense.  

You might find your vagina is dry

This is caused by low levels of the hormone oestrogen, and can make sex painful or uncomfortable. Various treatments, including radiotherapy to your pelvis and chemotherapy, can reduce your oestrogen levels.

Your doctor or nurse will let you know if there are tablets or gel that are suitable for you to use. Water-based lubricants, which are available at pharmacists, should help too – just make sure you choose a lubricant that is safe to use with condoms. 

Surgery might affect parts of your body linked to sex

If you need to have surgery as part of your cancer treatment, you might find that your body image is affected and you feel less like having sex – particularly at first.

Surgery on parts of your body including your testicles, breasts, ovaries and vulva might change the way you feel about sex too, or might make it more difficult to have sex. Having a limb amputated can also impact how you feel about sex. If you’re worried about any of these things, try and let your doctors and nurses know. 

More information

If you’d like to find out more about how to have safe sex, and how to keep yourself safe in sexual relationships OUTpatients has lots more on their information hub. 

OUTpatients is the UK’s only LGBTIQ+ cancer charity. They are led by and for LGBTIQ+ people affected by cancer, and work hard to support and advocate for their community.

If you are concerned about a child or adult who may be at risk, please contact the NSPCC Helpline or speak to your local Police service by dialling 101 or 999 in an emergency.