Returning to study after cancer

I’m from Canada, but I’m part Scottish. I did a degree in Scottish History and Anthropology in Canada, with a study abroad year at Essex University. I fell in love with Scotland after visiting the country, and after my degree I applied for a working visa and got a retail job in Aberdeen, with a plan to do a Masters degree at Stirling afterwards. 

I’d had a lump on my leg for a couple of years. It started to really hurt, so I went to the GP and was referred to an orthopedic surgeon for tests. I was told I had synovial sarcoma and that they wanted to get my treatment started as quickly as possible. They were very good and very sweet, but I went into pure panic. 

I had three weeks of mind-boggling appointments and tests before my chemo started. I met Amanda, my Clinical Nurse Specialist, who told me about Teenage Cancer Trust and Aberdeen Royal Infirmary where I was going to have my treatment. It felt like an absolute whirlwind and chaotic. I wouldn’t have got through it without Amanda – she was a constant support.  

I didn’t like being in hospital.  Every third week, I was hooked up to a machine 24/7 four days a week and I felt really isolated. I was nauseous from the chemo and I felt gross all of the time. My mum flew over and though she was only allowed in for an hour each day, it made such a difference. 

I always look far ahead and that can be really overwhelming. Amanda taught me to just take things step by step and get through one cycle of chemo and then the next.  

I also have a tendency to not reach out to people when I need them. Amanda recognised this and if she didn’t hear from me regularly then she’d contact me. She’d call me out when I told her that I was doing OK, and make sure that I opened up to her. As young people, we’re just starting out with our lives and then cancer halts it. Amanda reassured me that while life had stalled, it would start again. 

Aberdeen also has a psychologist, Vera. She was amazing, and I loved how direct she was. She said: “When things are shit, you call them shit’. She also gave me coping techniques.  

I knew that I still wanted to do my Masters and my care team initially thought that it was a lot for me to take on, but they were supportive of my decision. Where I want to go and what I want to do with my life are so important to me. My Masters was one of my dreams and I didn’t want cancer to take that away from me. It was the beacon of light at the end of my treatment.  

I started my Masters in September 2021, and it was an intense time. On September 30th they took the lump out of my leg and did a skin graft from my upper thigh. They also did laparoscopic surgery on my stomach. I could barely sit up afterwards. I was on bed rest for five days and I did some online classes, which gave me something to focus on. 

Once I recovered, I moved to Stirling and I’m now about to finish my Masters. My Masters gave me the opportunity to move to a new area, meet new people and reinvent myself. Nobody knew the Erin I was before I had cancer and I wasn’t in that box.  

There were only 12 people on my course we became super close. They were really supportive of me, and they were there to listen if I was ever struggling. I have handed in my final dissertation and I am waiting to graduate. 

I’m so grateful for the medical care I got in Scotland. I would love to stay in Scotland after I graduate and get a job in Heritage. I may also do a PhD one day. 

One good thing to come out of all of this is that I got a cat. I called her Fernie, after my aunt who I lost to cancer. She can be a little troublesome and sassy, but she is the best.