Dealing with Cancer during the festive period

For someone with cancer the question ‘will this be my last Christmas’ might go through your head. When I was diagnosed my first thought was how many Christmases will I have left? Although you try to live without this mentality, sometimes the thoughts come without warning.

Christmas 2020 was especially hard for me. I’d had a diagnostic surgery in August and already knew I had stage 3 cancer. I was waiting to find out if the cancer had progressed or if the previous operation had removed the remainder of my cancer, leading me into remission. For this reason, I wanted to try my hardest to make Christmas as normal as possible and celebrate where I could. 

As I was having my operation during the pandemic, it meant I had to isolate for 14 days beforehand. While I was stuck at home trying to keep some festive spirit, watching Christmas films and baking festive bakes, my friends were socialising as much as COVID allowed - visiting the Christmas markets and ice skating, all the Christmas activities I love to do. It seemed totally unfair. I didn’t know what my future would be, yet I was stuck at home while everyone else was making the most of it. If you find yourself in this situation due to operations or treatment, my advice would be to do little things to bring you joy where you can. This could include watching your favourite Christmas film, wrapping presents, baking or calling your friends for a pre-Christmas catch up. 

There were some complications from my operation, so I had an unexpected overnight stay in hospital when all I wanted to do is go home to my partner. As we all know, the nurses and doctors try their best to bring some Christmas cheer into the hospital, but it’s never the same as being at home. Luckily I had my iPad with me, so I was able to stream some Christmas films to pass the night away.

When I finally got out of hospital, I tried to enjoy my Christmas as much as possible. As part of our Teenage Cancer Trust group we had a festive quiz coming up. Fortunately, I was able to take part and thoroughly enjoyed talking to my friends, who I knew had been through similar situations to myself.  The recovery was due to be much quicker than my initial operation and I was hoping to be on my feet again to enjoy my Christmas morning tradition - a Christmas Day 5k run.

However, the inevitable question was looming over my head - had my cancer progressed or was I in remission?  When you are waiting for biopsy, blood or scan results, the wait can be really difficult, knowing that someone somewhere knows your results when you don’t. It can be made even more difficult over the festive period as often results take longer than usual, so the wait is longer too. Sometimes I find journaling helps - writing down your thoughts and feelings to get them out of your head onto paper. It’s a good distraction technique and can help clear your head.

The most important thing as we approach Christmas day is to not put too much pressure on yourself. It’s good to take time to enjoy activities which will bring you joy when you feel like it, but don’t be too hard on yourself when you don’t. If you don’t feel up to the festivities, it’s okay to press pause and create a new imaginary Christmas day when you feel up to it.